Two children are in a doctor's waiting room, and one of them is crying. "Why are you crying?" asked the other child. "I'm here for a blood test, and they're going to cut my finger." When he heard...

Little Janice was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me Janice, who created the universe?" When...

A man walks into a bar with a monkey he had just bought at the pet store. He sits down at the bar and orders a beer. The monkey jumps down off his shoulder and runs over to the pool table and ate the...

Once there was were three guys that were standing at the top of a building. One had a knife, another had a brick, and the last one had a bomb. The first one dropped the knives off the building and...

A bill collector knocked on the door of a country debtor. "Is Fred home?" he asked the woman who answered the door. "Sorry," the woman replied. "Fred's gone for cotton." The next day the collector...

An 80-year old man was having his annual check-up and the doctor asked him how he was feeling. "I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my...

Prof. of Algebra: kiss is two divided by nothing. Prof. of Geometry: kiss is the shortest distance between two straight lines. Prof. of Physics: kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion...

A state trooper pulled a car over and told the man driving that he was going 50 mph in a 40 mph zone. "I was only going 40!" the driver protested. "Not according to my radar," the trooper said. "Yes,...

A man is sitting at a bar, when a good-looking woman sits next to him. After a while she says, "Hi Bob". "Do I know you?" he replies. "You sure do... it's me, Frank, your best friend." "My GOD,...

A man left his cat with his brother while he went on vacation for a week. When he came back, the man called his brother to see when he could pick the cat up. The brother hesitated, then said, "I'm so...

Three clever men and one wise man are walking in the desert, when they find the bleached skeleton of a lion. The first clever man says, "I can rebuild the skeleton," and does so. The second clever...

I went to a restaurant with a sign that said they served breakfast at any time. So, I ordered French toast during the renaissance.

bob looked over the fence to see why his neighbour was digging and said to his neighbour' why are you digging and his neighbour said my fish is dead and bob said, it's a big hole for a fish and the...

There were three boys. one named zip, one named willy and one named pee. they ran away from school but they were chased by the headteacher so zip hid on top of a wardrobe, willy hid inside it and pee...

A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?" The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.." Two days later the girl asked her...

Forgetting with Age: First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.