A guy walked into a bar one day and said to the barman, “Give me six double vodkas.”

The barman says, “Wow! you must have had one hell of a day.”

...

An American walks into an Irish pub and says, “I’ll give anyone $100 if they can drink 10 Guinness’s in 10 minutes.”

Most people just ignore the absurd bet and go...

Two guys were walking their dogs and came across a bar. Since they were hot and tired from walking the dogs they decided to go in and have a drink. Unfortunately, the bar didn’t allow dogs....

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he will give him a free beer if he shows him something amazing. The bartender agrees, so the guys pulls out a hamster, who begins dancing and...

A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress.

A drunk is driving through the city and his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over and asks, “Where have you been?”

“I’ve been to the...

An older man wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phony beard sat down at a bar and ordered a drink. As the bartender set it down, he asked, “Going to a party?”

...

Three men are in a bar having a drink. When a gorgeous woman comes up to them and says,

WOMAN: Whoever can use the words ‘liver’ and ‘cheese’ in a creative...

There’s a big conference of beer producers. At the end of the day, all of the presidents of all the beer companies decide to have a drink in a bar.

Our beer, Which art in barrels, Hallowed be thy drink. Thy will be drunk, I will be drunk, at home as it is in public. Forgive us this day our daily spillage As we forgive those who spill-est against...

A drunk walks into a bar and notices a banner that says "win $10,000; ask bartender for details". He asks and the bartender says "well, you see that man at the end of the bar?". the drunk looks over...

A guy walks in and sits down at a bar. The side of his face is bruised and bleeding so the bartender asks, "What in the world happened to you, buddy?". The guy says, "Oh, I got in a fight with my...

Two friends were in a bar drinking a beer when one pulled out a cigar but he didn't have a lighter so he asked his friend if he had one.. "I sure do," he replied and reached into his pocket and...

A rather confident young man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive young woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices...

Three women were sitting in a bar, (burnette,red head, and a blonde)they were all pregnant. The burnette says, "I know what I'm going to have." The other to asked how. She replied, "well I was on...

Three animals in a bar was having a huge argument over who was the best. The first animal, a hawk, claimed that because of his ability to fly, he could attack anything repeatedly from above, and his...

A drunk man who smelled like booze sat down outside a bar on the street curb. A police officer watched him closely. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half...

This duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you have any grapes?" The bartender says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck returns and asks, "Do you have any grapes?" The...

A man is sitting in a bar when a beautiful woman walks up and whispers in his ear, "I'll do anything you want for 50 bucks." He puts his drink down and starts going through his pockets. He pulls out...

A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog."...