A ragged individual stranded for several months on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean one day noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it. Rushing to the...

A letter from a Blonde Y2K Engineer: I hope I haven't misunderstood your instructions. Because, to be honest, none of this Y to K problem makes any sense to me. At any rate I have finished...

Question: Definition of an upgrade? Answer: Take old bugs out, put new ones in. Question: What do computers eat when they get hungry? Answer: Chips. Question: How is the new IMac like a woman?...

A pilot is flying a small, single-engine, charter plane with a couple of really important executives on board into Seattle airport. There is fog so thick that visibility is 40 feet, and his...

A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Branch Manager were on their way to a meeting. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car...

Thank you for calling Technical Support. All of our technicians are currently busy helping people even less competent than you, so please hold for the next available technician. The waiting time is...

A man arrives at the Pearly Gates and finds that St. Peter is not there, but a computer terminal is sitting next to the arch. He walks up to it and sees "Welcome to www.Heaven.com. Please enter...

REPUBLICAN VIRUS: Sells off your system resources to the highest bidder. DEMOCRAT VIRUS: Doesn't allow you to delete inefficient programs or wasted disc space - if you try, it accuses you of being a...

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic. 2. Even the smallest mistakes are committed to memory. 3. The native language used to communicate with others of their kind is...

I know Daddy's password! While my brother-in-law was tapping away on his home computer, his ten-year-old daughter sneaked up behind him. Then she turned and ran into the kitchen, squealing to the...

A project manager, a computer programmer and a computer operator are driving down the road when the car they are in gets a flat tire. The three men try to solve the problem. The project manager...

When I was younger and quite desperate for pay, I worked the help desk for eight hours every day. End users called me up to tell me what was wrong, And now I find, it fried my mind, I worked...

January 1, 2000 Dear (enter employee name here) Re: Vacation Pay Our records indicate that you have not used any vacation time over the past 100 year(s). As I'm sure you are aware, employees are...

Dear Mr Bill Gates, This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer for our home and we encountered some problems, which I want to bring to your notice. 1. After connecting...

Thine eyes shine like CDs in the morning sun, I long to have thy software in my hands. And when you send a GIF for me to run, I feel a sudden twitch within my glands. How sweet our cybersex in...

This memo is to announce the development of a new software system which will be Year 2000 compliant. This program is known as "Millennia Year Application Software System" (MYASS). Next...

The problem with physicists is that they tend to cheat in order to get results. The problem with mathematicians is that they tend to work on toy problems in order to get results. The problem with...

In Computer Heaven: The management is from Intel, The design and construction is done by Apple, The marketing is done by Microsoft, IBM provides the support, Gateway determines the pricing. In...

One of Microsoft's finest technicians was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came...

HARD-DISK woman: She remembers everything, FOREVER. RAM woman: She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off. INTERNET woman: Difficult to access. SERVER woman: Always busy when you need her....