Q: How many Microsoft employees does it take to change a light bulb? A: 10. 1 to release a beta version 1 to complete the documentation 1 to test for hardware compatibility 1 to deny tech support 1...

1. Dial 911 immediately. 2. Open the curtains to see if anything has changed over the past 2 years. 3. You mean there's something else to do? 4. Threaten your ISP with an impeachment vote. 5. Work....

Sardarji enters a store that sell curtains. He tells the salesman, "I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains." The salesman assured him that they had a large selection of pink curtains. He...

On the phone with a programmer friend of mine recently, I noticed a couple of times he said complimentary things about Microsoft. I didn't understand why until he mentioned, later in the call, that...

Abstract: Mouse Balls Available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit). Mouse balls are now available as FRU. Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball...

They say that the new super computer knows everything. A skeptical man came and asked the computer, "Where is my father?" The computer bleeped for a short while, and then came back with "Your father...

11 Signs Your An Internet Geek 10. When filling out your driver's license application you give your IP address. 9. You no longer ask prospective dates what their sign is, instead your line is "Hi,...

10. Accidental switch back to 19,000 Leagues Under the Sea. 9. Screwed up computers report Euro Disney turning a profit. 8. Air traffic control glitch causes Dumbo to smack into a DC-10. 7. The...

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out. Technical support: Have you tried pushing the Button? Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck. Technical support: That doesn't sound good,...

10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless. 9. A better model is always just around the corner. 8. They look nice and shiny, until you bring them home. 7. It is always necessary to have a...

Speech Recognition Software Demo At a recent Sacramento PC User's Group meeting, a company was demonstrating its latest speech-recognition software. A representative from the company was just about...

Once sardarji entered a cybercafe to check his mails.It was crowded so he had to wait.As he waited he saw a man checking his mails.He stood behind him and watched.The man typed his password and was...

Bill Gates meets Hugh Grant at a Hollywood party. They are talking and Bill says, "I've seen some great pictures of Divine Brown lately, I sure would like to get together with her!" Hugh replies,...

Viruses replicate quickly. Windows does this. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so. Windows does this. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard...

OCR - Optical Character Recognition A technology that can take written words and convert them back into computer-readable form, provided they're in the right font, using the correct colours...

Santa and Banta work in a software company. One day, they were move their machine to another building. Banta was having a tough time carrying his machine. Santa : "My machine has 500 MB disk. See,...

Did you hear about Microsoft's new hard drive? It has five millisecond access, fits in a PC-Card slot, and has UNLIMITED space. Unfortunately, they haven't finished formatting it yet.

1. I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my PAPER newspaper like I used to, before the Web. 2. I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing. 3. I will get...

One of Microsoft's finest techs was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from...

You have just received the "Kentucky Virus"!!! As we aren’t got no programming experience, this here Virus works on the honour system. Please delete all the files on your hard drive, and manually...